Let's Get Organized...Organized

Calling all organizers! This post will be very exciting for you!

With about two and a half months to go until the wedding, I was feeling very overwhelmed. There is a lot going on in our lives right now - planning a wedding (obviously!), planning for our big move back to New York and getting ready for Mr. Hermit Crab and I to start a new job and a new school, and not to mention my very busy job. I was juggling about five different calendars, writing lists and losing them, and just generally feeling a little bit "all over the place." So I hopped over to an office supply store and found...

...this! (cue light shining and angels singing)

All photos are personal photos unless otherwise noted

Here's something you might want to know about me before we continue. I love organizing - planners, shelving units, schedules, you name it, I would organize it! I could spend hours just gazing at the merchandise in the Container Store or Staples. Pictures like this make me swoon!

I came across this picture on the discussion boards here

My fiance thinks this is totally weird, but of course, he doesn't mind having an organized house. When you're doing laughing at me or thinking I'm totally loony bins (get it...bins!), we'll move on.

Back to my new life saver! This baby holds all my important dates, work and personal, has a folder for notes, receipts, stamps, letters and anything else, note pages for lists, and it's all in one place!

My planner in action

I will tell you something, once I had consolidated everything, and begun using the new planner, I felt better! I was able to get back on track with my lists and dates, and feel like I was starting fresh.

Do you love organizing as much as I do? I can't be the only one out there!

Anyone else know that feeling of disorganization? Do you have any tips for reorganizing your thoughts and getting back on track?

Hairanoia

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I'm actually not "hairanoid" but that is the name of my salon here in Syracuse!

Let's talk hair. My hair is one of those things that I've always liked - it's red and always set me apart, and I loved that! I don't wear my hair up very much, but I don't just want to wear it down and regular for the wedding either (all the while I still want to feel like myself). So, that leaves something in between! You've already seen the accessories that I've picked out, so I thought I would show you some of my hairspiration.

I'll admit, I was Team Aniston. Sad about them, but she still looked beautiful on her wedding day!
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This one reminded me of my own hair clip - I like this with maybe slightly fewer curls
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Still a little curly for me, but you're probably getting the idea of it...
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How are you wearing your hair for the wedding?

A party ain't a party without a drum beat*

I can't believe that I haven't yet shared with you the band for our wedding! What started out being one of the most daunting tasks turned out to be one of the quickest and easiest decisions that we made!

One thing that few people remember about me is that during college, I worked for a record label. For two years, I lived and breathed music industry - going frequently to any concert I could get into, handling artist websites and street teams, and attending recording sessions. It was a great experience, but along the way I learned that I would not be pursuing a career in the music industry. However, music is very important to both Mr. Hermit Crab and myself, and we knew it would be a big part of our wedding.

We knew from the beginning that we wanted a live band and not a DJ. For a day time wedding, a DJ would feel a little bit too dance party, and while we want dancing (and A LOT of it), a discotheque is not what we are going for (but a totally awesome option for many people!)

We also knew that we wanted a lot of traditional Jewish music - of course the horah and the chair dance, but also Klezmer, Israeli music, and Jewish dance songs. We would pepper it with Top 40 favorites to include everyone, so we needed to find a band that could do both.

Dancing at our Syracuse engagement party

Being lifted during our Syracuse engagement party

(personal photos)

I started the search with this website. I contacted a few bands, asked for pricing, references and samples. However, I think I knew right away which one we would choose. They sent us demo cds - one with Jewish music and one with secular, and I quickly became their biggest fan! We set up a meeting in person, and found that we were all on the same page about the tone and ambiance for our wedding, and booked them that day. I know you must be on the edge of your seat waiting to find out who we booked...and they are:

Nafshenu!

Based out of New York, they will travel and play for weddings all over. They will be doing our cocktail hour, ceremony and reception. For the first parts, they will send a smaller band - strings, and maybe a flute, and then the whole band will join for the reception.

I know they are going to do a great job getting all 300 of our guests out of their chairs and onto the dance floor! We'll be working on our playlists soon, so stay tuned!

Did you fall in love with your music ahead of time? Did you decide to go with a band or a DJ, and how did you make this decision?

*a quote from one of my favorite bands, Virginia Coalition

Being a Bridesmaid: The Dress

I have mentioned before that I will be taking on many wedding roles this spring, summer and fall. In July, I will be a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding in Tel Aviv, Israel. She has sent out a picture of the color dress she would like us to wear, and left the rest up to us. So I begin my hunt for the bridesmaid dress!

Personal photo from Friend Y

She would like us to match the color of the bridesmaids' dresses in this photo, but has no other requirements, just to keep in mind that this is for a wedding during the summer in Israel (think hot hot hot!).

So, of course I started first with my good friend, the interwebs.

First up, JCrew

Next, Carol Hannah's Wedding Shop at Etsy. I LOVE this dress, and she will make it in many colors, long or short
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Annlumred at Etsy - I'm not sure yet if she will do this in custom colors and lengths but I love this dress (source)

And then there is Amsale...

I love both of these dresses as well

I think you can probably tell by now what I looking for - strapless(ish) silk chiffon - flowy, lovely, and blue!

Any suggestions for me as I begin my search?

Where did you find your bridesmaid dresses? Did you know what type of dress you were looking for, or were you open to anything?

Jewish Traditions: Shalom Bayit

Shalom Bayit is Hebrew for peace in the home.

I mentioned previously that I didn't feel that different after we moved in together because it felt like the natural next step for us. However, we did make it a special experience for both of us (actually, you'll soon find out, Mr. Hermit Crab made it special for me!).

Shortly before I moved to Syracuse, and in with Mr. Hermit Crab, we visited Israel. My birthday was in the middle of trip, and Mr. Hermit Crab gave me a very special present. He found a framed and painted version of the Birkat HaBayit - Blessing for the Home, and gave it to me to hang in our new home together.

personal photo of my Birkat HaBayit

The translation of the Hebrew text is:

Blessing for the home
Let no sadness come through this gate.
Let no trouble come to this dwelling.
Let no fear come through this door.
Let no conflict be in this place.
Let this home be filled with the blessing of joy
and peace.

I was so moved that Mr. Hermit Crab gave this to me, and it hangs where we see it every day, where most people see it when they come to our house and where we spend a lot of time together - in the kitchen! Even if you're not Jewish, I think this is a tradition that can speak to all people - hopes for peace in the home.

Do you have any special traditions for creating a home together?

It has a nice RING to it

(all pictures are personal photos)

We have our wedding bands!

I have a teeny tiny confession - we actually have had our bands for over a year - it was one of the first things that we could cross off the list relatively early on, so we went back to where Mr. Hermit Crab had gotten my engagement ring, and we picked out rings. We were in and out in 20 minutes, and we had gotten a deal that included engraving in the cost. Thus began the saga! It took us about a year to decide what we wanted engraved, and we finally forced ourselves to make the decision and we took them back to the store. Three weeks later, we happily went to retrieve our rings...and mine had an engraving mistake! The problem was that the mistake was part of the Hebrew lettering, and we had very little faith that they would be able to get it right the second time. We went home with Mr. Hermit Crab's band, and crossed our fingers. Finally, we got the call and went to pick mine up. It was...perfect! Now we just have to keep them safe until the wedding!

Here they are, safe in their little white boxes

Me modeling Mr. Hermit Crab's ring - yellow gold

Me modeling my ring - please excuse the chipping manicure!

In a Jewish wedding ceremony, you are supposed to wear a solid ring, without any holes in it. Many people use one like this for the ceremony, and then have a fancier band that they wear all the time. It was very important to Mr. Hermit Crab and I that the ring we use during the ceremony be what I would wear all the time, and luckily, I love the simplicity of it.

My engagement ring with my band

They don't fit snuggly together, but I actually prefer it that way. I can wear them each separately or together, I like how it looks either way. (A wedding band that would have fit snuggly with my e-ring would have look horrible on it's own, and I really wanted one I could wear alone).

I am so excited about our wedding bands. I love love my engagement ring and it's symbolism for us as a couple, but to me, the simplicity of the band and what it symbolizes is so powerful. I am very much looking forward to wearing it!

Just in case you're interested, here is what we had engraved: "E&N 6-6-2010 (and in Hebrew) Ani l'dodi v'dodi li" which means, "I am my beloved and my beloved is mine."

How did you decide what wedding band to buy? Was it an easy or a complicated process? Did you decide to have your rings engraved?

We're Moving!

I interrupt my regularly schedule wedding planning to bring you a bit of truly exciting news.

Yesterday I shared with you that it was going to be a tremendous day in our lives. And boy, was it! We spent the evening before with our wonderful Medical School friends, with whom we have gotten very close over the last few years. (All pictures are personal photos).

Very happy Mr. and Miss Heb, only hours before the great reveal!

The morning was anxious as we awaited learning what would be our fate. With trembling hands, we opened a little envelope that would change our whole lives! I am happy to tell you that Mr. Heb matched in New York City, which means we're going home!

Us with two of our friends

Though we're very excited, it was also bittersweet. Though we could not have been more happy, I will be sad to leave my job and my community that I've built here - some of my friends here have truly become more like family. I know we will keep in touch, but life gets in the way some time, and it's never the same. Also, all of our medical school friends will be going to different cities, for at least several years. We're really made some good friends, and it will be said to be so far apart.

But we're going home!! (Just FYI - this now means that I'll be leaving my job, we'll be moving to Manhattan, we'll be getting married, going on our honeymoon and starting news jobs and schools all in about 5 weeks - wow!).

Do you have anything else exciting going on in your life?

You're the one that I want...oo oo oo*

Everyone always seems to ask if we felt different once we got engaged. I would have to say that except for feeling very very excited, it didn't feel different immediately. I was reminded of when we moved in together, nearly three years ago, and people asked us the same thing then. It was a similar feeling for me - we were incredibly happy about it (especially since moving in together ended a year of agonizing long distance), but it felt so natural and comfortable that it didn't necessarily feel different. I had a lot of friends who asked me over the years how I knew Mr. Hermit Crab was the "one" for me, usually around these big occasions. We have been together a little over five years at this point, and over the years, there are have been other, slightly more nontraditional markers that have shown me that Mr. Hermit Crab and I make good partners for each other. There have been a myriad of indicators for me over the years, but I will share one of the bigger ones with you. A couple months after we moved in together, we adopted two adorable kittens.

My two boys - Rashi and Mr. Hermit Crab

My little one-eyed man, Akiva

(He had a disease when he was a baby and they had to remove one of his eyes, he was so cute and they promised us that he was all better so we adopted him!)

The kittens being ridiculously adorable

I can honestly say that adopting kittens together felt like a bigger deal than either moving in together or getting engaged - we were co-owners of a living thing! It was an unbelievable feeling, and brought us closer together. However, sadly, our little Akiva wound up having a life threatening disease, and despite all of our efforts, he passed away after a short five months. Going through this traumatic experience together showed me that we could be partners against anything that came our way - we were supportive of each others' needs, and we worked through the time together. I guess I had never doubted Mr. Hermit Crab, but I was grateful to learn that I had been right all along. (And happily, our cat Rashi is just about the sweetest cat ever, so in many ways, we still got lucky that summer!)

Did you have a moment or an incident that helped you realize you have found the right partner? I would love to hear it!

*sing with me! Did you guess the movie? Of course, it's Grease!

Invitations: A Little Detail

Now that the invitations are really coming together, I'm excited to share some more details with you. Recently, I shared with you the pictures of the envelopes being assembled by Kristin at Twin Ravens Press. My invitations have been a collaborative effort of four extremely talented artists, and I can't wait to tell you more about them!

One of my favorite pieces of the invitation has already been blogged about, so I want to share it with you now! Inspired by Mrs. Bear Cub's invitation, I contacted Crystal Kluge to see if she might be able to create a map for us as well. And, boy, did she ever! Take a look:

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Click to see it bigger and all the great little details!

Crystal included many of our favorite New York City landmarks, including NYU and the Bronfman Center, where we will be having Friday night dinner, and of course the NYBG where the wedding will be, among many other landmarks. Of course, this map won't really be helpful for out of town guests, but it was my little addition to the invitation suite, like many do a relationship time line or something to help the guests learn more about the couple.

She even included one of my newest favorite song lyrics from the most recent Phish album, Joy:

"I never thought I could have it so good,
You were the song that my soul understood"

I knew I really wanted to use the lyrics, but I wasn't sure where, and this turned out to be the perfect spot. I am so so happy with the way the map came out, and I am so excited to be able to add a little touch of NYC into the invitations.

Did you create a map to go with your invitation? Was it meant to be helpful, or purely whimsical?

Invitations: Envelope Sneak Peek

Many moons ago it seems, I showed you my save the dates and I mentioned I would be working with the same Etsy seller, Twin Ravens Press, on the invitation suite. Kristin at Twin Ravens has been unBEElievable to work with, and I would recommend her to anyone for letterpress and totally unique invitations, business cards, and whatever else you can think of to letterpress! I thought you might enjoy this little peek at the envelopes and the letterpress process! (All photos by Kristin and sent to me)

The paper for my envelope liners, before
This paper is natural lotka paper with embedded flower petals

The envelope liner in the die-cutter machine

The liners after being cut

The envelopes fully lined

The letterpress

The printing plate for our return address with the blue ink on it

Our envelopes going to meet the printing plate

Our envelopes coming off the printing plate

And the finished envelope!

I'm so happy that Kristin sent me these pictures, and I could share a tiny sneak peek of what's to come with you!

Do you have a great vendor that you'd like to recommend? Have any of your vendors gone above and beyond to keep you involved throughout your engagement?

Deciding on the Dress: Accessories

My third visit to Kleinfeld's was great not only because I fell in love with my dress again and had the opportunity to meet with the designer, but as because I found my veil and headpiece! Henry Roth helped me pick them out, and it was a great experience. Here are a couple of clips that I tried on:

We had a tough time getting them to stay in my hair so I either had to stand very still for the picture or someone had to hold it in for the moment. You can see the detailing on the dress a little bit better here.

Similar to the first one

What I originally had planned on getting but it didn't feel right with my dress on

So what did I choose? Henry (yeah, we're bff) convinced me to get a hairpiece that made a bit more of a statement since my jewelry is a bit understated, and I will only be wearing my veil for the cocktail hour and ceremony. This is a hairpiece I hope to share with family in the future, and I just love it!

The final look! (This is one where I had to stand very still so everything stayed on which is why I look a little tense).

You can also see the veil that I decided on in this photo. It comes down to my lower back, and is embellished with rhinestones that mimic the detailing on my dress. The veil is very important part of a Jewish wedding, as Mr. Heb will brought to me so that he can veil me before the ceremony (to avoid confusion!) This is part of the bedeken ceremony.

Did you have any help finding your headpiece? How did you choose what to wear?

Deciding on the Dress: Part 3

After I chose and purchased my dress, I put it on the backburner and checked it off my list. However, after several months of watching Say Yes to the Dress, I fell victim to one of the oldest bridal diseases in the book - the dreaded "dress uncertainty." I saw beautiful gown after beautiful gown, and the months passed since I had seen and worn my own dress. Did I really love it? Was it really the right one? Should I have tried more, different styles, different stores? I checked the Kleinfeld's website, and to my excitement, I saw that my designer, Henry Roth, was going to be doing a trunk show while I would be in New York visiting family. My mom made an appointment and I got very nervous. What if I didn't love it? It was an awful lot of money to not love something, right?

So with my mom and two close friends in tow, we headed out.

I put the dress on, and, well, see for yourself (all pictures were taken by Mama Hermit Crab):

Oh yeah, I love this dress, it's totally the right one.

Oh, and here's a better view of the detailing on the back (and preview of my veil, actually). Isn't it delish, what was I thinking?

And a little perk, here I am with Henry Roth himself!

I cannot explain how happy I am that I went back. The agonizing was for nothing. Meeting the designer of my dress was so exciting, and he could not have been more helpful. He spent over an hour with me, swooning about how I looked in his dress, helping me find a headpiece and veil (that's in the next post!), and helping me figure out how to make the creative changes that I am planning for the dress (but that is all to come in the future, so you'll have to stay tuned for that!). I would say this: if you're having an anxiety over your dress, go back and try it on. If you loved it once, you're sure to love it again! And for goodness sake, once you buy your dress, stop looking at others! ;)

Did you have any anxiety over your dress after you bought it? Did you go back for a second look? Any exciting stories of meeting your designer - share!

Role Play: Involving Our Friends

I have mentioned before that we are not having a formal bridal party, but that we will be involving (many) of our friends in different ways throughout our wedding and engagement.

You've already seen how we're honoring our family and our many rabbis, as well as my friends who came to pick out my dress.

In April and May, we had bachelor and bachelorette parties so that we could celebrate with our friends (stay tuned - my New Orleans French Quarter Fest extravaganza is coming up soon!).

We will be having four of our friends (instead of the traditional two) sign our Ketubah as a way of honoring more people (the people who sign the ketubah must not be related to you in any way, and they must be Jewish and have a Hebrew name).

We will each have a friend run our Tisch before the ceremony - we will greet our guests separately as they arrive, set to music, food and general merriment! Our friends will act as MCs.

We will be having 16 of our friends participate during the ceremony by reading the Seven Blessings - 7 in Hebrew and 9 (two pairs) in English. Readings are a great way to honor friends and loved ones in your wedding that you might not have been able to otherwise. Jewish tradition comes complete with readings and prayers outlined in the ceremony, but there is always room to add your favorites.

We will be having three or four friends act as guards when we visit the yichud after the ceremony (or as I like to call it, "7 minutes in heaven" ;) - the bride and groom spend [traditionally] 7 minutes alone together immediately after the ceremony. As I understand it, they mostly wind up relaxing with each other and eat because they haven't eaten all day!)

There is a chance that people may want to make toasts. This is up to them and I will let you know how this goes!

Have you found any creative ways to involve your friends outside of the bridal party?

Wedding Weekend: Saturday night

Now that you've seen how we're kicking off our Wedding Weekend on Friday night, it's time for Part 2: Saturday night!

Saturday night, we will have a dinner party for our out of town guests and family members. I have to say, this was surprisingly one of the more difficult tasks that I tackled. After our venue search turned out to be so easy, I thought simply finding a restaurant in midtown for Saturday night would be easy enough. I was so wrong! Anything close to the hotels that we booked turned out to be extremely expensive (like, rivaled the cost of food for the wedding itself) and we were stuck for a while. Then, I decided just to contact one of our favorite Manhattan joints, Campo, and see what their pricing was. Not only did they give us a great price, but they were so great to work with and happy to host our event! Even though this restaurant was in a totally different neighborhood, and we decided to get a bus for our guests, the price per person was still less than if we had chosen a restaurant near the hotels.

Campo Outside

Campo inside view of the main dining room

I love the food (mmm, fried tomatoes and mozzerella de-lish!) and the atmosphere and I am so happy that it has worked out with Campo for Saturday night. I anticipate that we'll have about 125 people (the size of some weddings!) composed of our close family members and out of town guests. After dinner, we're looking for a bar in the neighborhood that people can go to, or they can head back to one of the hotels where we have a block, The Roosevelt Hotel, and head up to their rooftop bar and lounge, Mad46, if the weather cooperates. I will probably head straight home to get my beauty sleep before the big day!

You may have noticed at this point that we're not doing a rehearsal dinner in the traditional sense. Our families will be with us on Friday and Saturday night, and we will have a chance to thank them on Friday night (we will probably head to the NYBG for a rehearsal on Friday morning). Since we are not having a formal bridal party, we did not feel the need for a formal rehearsal or subsequent dinner.

Were you able to incorporate any of your favorite restaurants into your wedding weekend? Are you having a pre or post event for out of towners?

Wedding Weekend: Friday night

I have mentioned before that our wedding will include a weekend full of events, and now that we are officially booked, I thought I would tell you about them.

And so...Part 1: Friday night

In Judaism, the Sabbath day begins on Friday night at sundown and continues until Saturday night at sundown, and it is called Shabbat (the Hebrew word for Sabbath). Friday nights have become incredibly important to Mr. Hermit Crab and I, as we make sure that Friday night dinners are always at home, often with lots of company, and of course, copious amounts of delicious food. Also, one of the first things we did together when we started dating was attend Friday night services and dinner together at our Hillel, the Bronfman Center. I am happy to say that we will be spending the Friday night of our wedding weekend once again at the Bronfman Center.

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The NYU Bronfman Center is a beautiful old brownstone near NYU that will be the perfect setting for our first wedding event.

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The first floor of the Bronfman Center where we will have dinner (will be set up with tables and chairs).

Friday night we will have our closest family join us. This will be a group of about 35 people (and this is our close family - now you know why we are having 300!) and will be a wonderful way for us to enjoy our families before the craziness of the weekend really sets in. We will start with Friday night services that will give us the opportunity to set the mood, and to welcome and thank our families. We will then head downstairs for a family Shabbat dinner, complete with lighting the candles, drinking wine, and eating freshly baked challah (and a full delicious meal, of course!).

I am really looking forward to Friday night. We will be able to kick off our wedding weekend in a place that is meaningful for us both personally and for our relationship, with the people that we are closest to.

Will you be able to incorporate personally historic locations into your wedding? What are you doing to kick off your wedding events?

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

It seems that every bride-to-be grapples with the question of name change, and I am no exception.

For most of my life, I assumed I would change my name when I got married.

However, it's easy peasy to make a decision before you're actually faced with it. When I got engaged, I realized that I was actually about to really change my name. All of the sudden, my last name was my whole identity - my connection to my family, my familial history, my own past (what to do with the hundreds of high school shirts that have my last name on the back!). His last name is much more popular than mine, my name would be far less original. Would changing my name mean that I was breaking a connection to my family, and joining Mr. Hermit Crab's? And why did I have to change my name - couldn't he?

I thought about this a lot over the first few months that we were engaged. I spoke to everyone I could about why they had or had not changed their name. I had a long conversation with Mr. Hermit Crab about it, and I thought some more. Finally, I concluded that I should, and would, change my name. My connections to my own family will not be broken, and I will not be "more" in Mr. Hermit Crab's family than my own. However, Mr. Hermit Crab and I were going to create a new family together, and this name would represent us. I am not going to lose any part of my identity. Before the wedding, we will look like this:

And after we will look like this:

(Just kidding!)
(All photos are personal photos)

I am going to be the same "me", we are going to be the same "us", just newly joined together in marriage. I am happy to have come to a decision that feels right for me, I know it is different for everyone. It's a wonderful things and I'm very much looking forward to it!

Have you decided if you will change your name or not? Was it a difficult decision?